Buddha knows - An interview with
Abbot Dhammajayo on Buddhism
by Monica Øien
by Monica Øien
“Premarital sex is considered the result of a person’s weak and unhealthy mind”
Monica : What
do Buddhist scriptures say about sexual life for the Buddhists?
Luang Por : Buddhism suggests that intercourse should be
treated as a commitment rather than an
entertainment. This means that a couple should have intercourse only when they
wish to have offspring who will reincarnate to this world for the pursuit of
perfections.
This makes a human birth different from the birth of animals such as cats or birds which are driven by lust and instinct only. Moreover, this kind of relationship is regarded as a means to enhance a person’s roles and status. It makes husbands and wives become parents who are the first teachers, the selfless givers, and the spiritual guide for their children. Parents have to perform the duty of a good virtue-mentor by presenting the gateway leading to heaven or nirvana. They are comparable to the noble ones of the family. Thus, all couples should realize this issue and never be obsessed
by sexual intercourse. They should contemplate that intercourse offers only temporary pleasure which also has negative effects. Therefore, intercourse should be valued and engaged in with the awareness that overindulgence could lead to suffering as well.
This makes a human birth different from the birth of animals such as cats or birds which are driven by lust and instinct only. Moreover, this kind of relationship is regarded as a means to enhance a person’s roles and status. It makes husbands and wives become parents who are the first teachers, the selfless givers, and the spiritual guide for their children. Parents have to perform the duty of a good virtue-mentor by presenting the gateway leading to heaven or nirvana. They are comparable to the noble ones of the family. Thus, all couples should realize this issue and never be obsessed
by sexual intercourse. They should contemplate that intercourse offers only temporary pleasure which also has negative effects. Therefore, intercourse should be valued and engaged in with the awareness that overindulgence could lead to suffering as well.
Monica : Is it, according to the Buddhist Laws,
acceptable to have sexual relationships
before
marriage?
Luang Por : There is no direct teaching about premarital
sex. However, the Lord Buddha taught
that a sexual relationship should take place only when a couple is ready to be
husband and wife who are responsible for offspring in order to continue their
clan. Premarital sex is considered the result of a person’s weak and unhealthy
mind. It can be compared with an unripe fruit that is taken before its time.
There is no exact teaching or restriction about premarital sex, but most
Buddhists regard it as a disgrace and a violation of Buddhist tradition. As a
matter of fact, this kind of relationship will cause many problems. The people who
have sex before marriage will devalue the meaning of both a sexual relationship
and marriage. They will prefer sexual pleasure to a meaningful relationship
with someone. The heart will lose its innocence as it is filled with passion
and lust. Also, abortion is one of a series of problems caused by premarital
sex. Expressing love between husbands and wives is a normal activity unless we
transgress any restrictions, social values or morality. Sexual pleasure is
viewed as temporary satisfaction that brings about some disadvantages if we do
not know how to control ourselves. Sometimes jealousy, lust, anxiety and conflict
are the result. Buddhism teaches people to treat it as a meaningful
relationship that will have a positive effect on a complete family life. Sexual
activity thus connotes the sense of sacredness, not promiscuity.
Monica : Celibacy is a norm in temples all over
the world. I wonder why monks, Buddhist monks,
have to live in celibacy.
Luang Por : One thing you have to bear in mind is that
before leading a life in priesthood,
all Buddhist monks were once ordinary laypeople. But they consider the lives of
all Buddhist monks were once ordinary laypeople. But they consider the lives of
laypeople full
of burdens and responsibilities which prevent them from gaining insights about the truth of life and Dhamma.
Laypeople busy their lives with earning money, family matters and daily
problems. To avoid all these life fetters,
one needs to get ordained which will help them achieve the goal of enlightenment. Sensual pleasure is considered temporary happiness which lasts for a short period.
This kind of pleasure is compared with having a meal. Our hunger will be relieved
for a short while and we have to satisfy our needs again in the next meal.
Buddhist monks consider happiness from meditation to exceed worldly happiness.
Meditation generates true happiness which cannot be found elsewhere.
For the sake of this true happiness,
monks choose to turn their back on worldly pleasures and practice celibacy.
Prince Siddharta is an example of a person who deserted all blessing in his life in order to seek the happiness of the mind. Buddhist monks follow His path in search of true happiness as well because they believe that celibacy is a means to liberate themselves from suffering and become enlightened like the Lord Buddha.
one needs to get ordained which will help them achieve the goal of enlightenment. Sensual pleasure is considered temporary happiness which lasts for a short period.
This kind of pleasure is compared with having a meal. Our hunger will be relieved
for a short while and we have to satisfy our needs again in the next meal.
Buddhist monks consider happiness from meditation to exceed worldly happiness.
Meditation generates true happiness which cannot be found elsewhere.
For the sake of this true happiness,
monks choose to turn their back on worldly pleasures and practice celibacy.
Prince Siddharta is an example of a person who deserted all blessing in his life in order to seek the happiness of the mind. Buddhist monks follow His path in search of true happiness as well because they believe that celibacy is a means to liberate themselves from suffering and become enlightened like the Lord Buddha.
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