Buddha knows : Death & Rebirth

Buddha knows - An interview with Abbot Dhammajayo on Buddhism

by Monica Øien

“For example, if one’s mind is blemished, one may be reborn in purgatory. But if one’s mind is completely dark, one may head to
a deeper hell realm”

Monica :                    In the Christian religion we believe that we go to heaven, which is a better place
  in the afterlife. So life is just a preparation for death in my religion.
  And I just wonder if it’s different for you, and can you visualize death?

Luang Por :             What everyone in this world will face on their deathbed is the flashback of his/her  doings from birth to the last day of life. Regardless of race or religion, all human beings will see the recurring pictures of their past deeds while they are  dying.
Either good or bad, our deeds will reappear in our mind like a movie. If the person always did good deeds, at their deathbed their mind will be filled with  happiness.
The picture of their goodness will appear bright and clear in their mind. This is the sign that the person will be led to the celestial realm or reborn in  good place after their death. In contrast, if the person usually committed sinful deeds like killing, stealing, or drinking alcohol, their mind will be loaded down  with the weight of unwholesomeness and thus diminished by darkness. The person will see a black spot or a gloomy picture before being drawn into a black  tube which is the way leading to the realm of suffering. Indeed, there are many destinations waiting for the dead. The deceased may be reincarnated in  the realm of hell or, purgatory, as a devil, a ghost,
an animal, a human being, a nymph, or an angel, depending on the state of the mind when the person is  dying. The state of mind could vary based on the ratio of brightness and darkness in the mind. So the variable mixture could lead to a different afterlife.  For  example, if one’s mind is blemished, one may be reborn in purgatory. But if one’s mind is completely dark, one may head to a deeper realm of hell. If the mind is  slightly dark, one could be reborn as an animal. Likewise, if one’s mind is bright enough, one will be reborn as a human. If the mind is very bright, one can be reborn as a celestial being, ranging from an earth sprite, a tree sprite, an air sprite,
a lower celestial being, or a higher celestial being. Do you think people with a  Christian background can understand this? It is not easy to explain the law of karma.

Monica :          Yes, somehow it reminds me of my own culture. Yes it is understandable.
 People are  just so afraid of talking about it in Norway. And it’s just as normal as  being born wouldn’t you say? That’s why I think we need to calm people down a little bit  and give them some knowledge about death. And I need a clearer picture. 

                        It’s just I need more information to say, ok, can we think about it without being
so fearful?

Luang Por :          We’re discussing about how to make it brief but to the point.

Monica :               Yes, that’s right. Would you like to know what we do something about it?
When   people die in Norway we usually don’t see them because we’re so afraid of death, and we don’t want to say goodbye. The normal goodbye with dead people is just to put them in the hospital, then into the refrigerator and then put them into the earth; into the tomb. I don’t know why that happens because back in the middle ages in Norway people died at home, and they used to stay at home for few days so that they could say goodbye. So now everything has become so strange and so impersonal. How do you explain it?

Luang Por :          There is a universal procedure that happens to people from all walks of life   regardless of their belief or ethic. Before people die, they will see the rewinding pictures of their past deeds. The frequent deeds will come first. For example, if one drinks liquor regularly, one will see the pictures of oneself drinking alcohol. Despite the fact that one enjoyed it so much when committing such action, one will feel regretful and uncomfortable before dying. The pre-disembodiment image will then  appear to hint where one will head to. For example, seeing the image of hell denizens will denote that one will go to hell in the afterlife. If one always killed animals in the past, one will see the rewinding pictures of oneself killing animals. Then one will feel discomfort and sorrowful and the pre-disembodiment image will appear to be animals. This means that one will have to be reborn as an animal after dying. I hope you understand, Monica? If I don’t explain with illustrative words, you may not understand. Goodness and badness are universal terms which can be defined differently from religion to religion, so it is necessary to give examples. Like the story of the Norwegian navy men, who were reborn as earth sprites because they don’t have enough merit to be reborn in the celestial realm, but they didn’t have much sin to go to the realm of punishment as well. They have merit from showing support to fellow people only. This is what I want to clarify to you.

Monica :               So is this a thing you can achieve in meditation?

Luang Por :          It happens on earth, but also in the astral dimension. As there are the rich, the   middle class, and the poor in this world, there are also different classes of earth sprites. For the parents of the navy man that we mentioned, he became a common Earth sprite. I hope you understand this. The spirit of their son was also discharged from the body; he was dead. So the tunnel that he entered was the entrance between the two worlds.

Monica :               That’s very difficult to understand.

Luang Por :          During that stage, he was already freed from the feeling of the physical body.

                             He felt  no pain.

Monica :               For me personally, I think it’s interesting. But it’s going to be too difficult for the TV viewers to understand all this. We need to do a documentary on this subject.

Luang Por :           Please accept it as additional universal knowledge. If you find that it is not  acceptable, it’s okay. But you need to separate what is true from what you believe.
Do you want to witness this by yourself? You can do so with meditation practice.

Buddha knows : A Successful Marriage

Buddha knows - An interview with Abbot Dhammajayo on Buddhism

By Monica Øien

“One of the reasons why family members are drawn to share the same 

fate or belong to the same family is that they had committed similar

actions in the past”

Monica :          We have a big problem in Norway. Many people get divorced, like 50% every year, and I don’t know why that happens all the time because you can just change

                        your man like you change your car or clothes, and so we are trying to find out how
do they do it in other religions and other cultures. Hopefully we can take some of this information back home and inspire Norwegians. How is it possible to maintain a long

                        loving marriage?

Luang Por :     Those who decide to get married need to know three important questions.
Why do you want to get married? How do you find a suitable spouse?
What will create a good married life? For the first question, the objectives of marriage are not only for a sexual relationship or the continuity of family lines,
but also to live side by side and encourage each other to achieve the goal of being born human, like doing good deeds, avoiding bad deeds, terminating the cycle of birth or at least being  reborn into a celestial realm. Moreover, it is not enough to get married just because two people love each other. Apart from love, one needs to consider

                        other factors as well. As mentioned above, the couple should be equal to each other in four aspects: faith, precepts, attitude and belief. Buddhist couples usually

                        take some time to learn and know each other before getting married.
This means it may take months or even years. In a way, waiting is seen as a test for true

                        love. In order to have a happy marriage, husband and wife must learn to live together and treat each other with equal consideration.
What a husband and wife should do in order to make a good relationship is to
“love simultaneously, be angry at different times”.
Also, they should always smile at each other, learn to

                        be calm and reasonable, respect each others needs and opinions,
provide each other with some degree of freedom, and sacrifice themselves for the sake of the family. In order to prolong the relationship, they should learn to create some space between each other. For example, a relationship is compared with a bird in

                        our hands. If we grasp it too tight, the bird will die and we will lose it forever.
To keep it with us, we must learn to hold it gently and with great care.
Moreover, husbands and wives should learn to please each other with sharing, sweet words and help.
They should also act properly so as to learn what a wife should do for a

                        husband and what a husband should do for a wife. There are a lot more tactics which can not all be explained here. Although the advice here may be quite

                        a good guideline for leading a married life, sometimes it does not work for some people. If it does not, the cause of the break up may be explained by the

                        law of karma. In the Buddhist worldview, separation is a sign that the couple's time
to reap the fruit of their good deeds, which they had done together in the

                        previous lifetime, is at an end. Thus, each of them is forced to separately walk their own path according to their karma. For women whose married life suffers

                        from violence, hard burdens or infidelity, according to Buddhist explanation,
it is the effect of their own misbehavior in the past life. The women probably

                        used to be men in their previous lifetime but they are re-born as women and suffer all these situations because they had committed adultery, had abandoned

                        or abused their wives and children. One of the reasons why family members are drawn to share the same fate or belong to the same family is that they had

                        committed similar actions in the past.

Buddha knows : Daily Life of Buddhists Meditation

Buddha knows - An interview with Abbot Dhammajayo on Buddhism 

by Monica Øien

“Before bed, again it is the time for prayer and meditation in order to free 

their mind from stress and all problems they have faced during the day”

Monica :          What do Buddhist’s scriptures say about time?

Luang Por :     Time management for laypeople and Buddhist monks is quite different. Laypeople have to manage their time in order to achieve both worldly and spiritual development. Every morning they will pray, meditate and share merit with all living things after they get up. All day long, they will observe their mind; work with full consciousness and wisdom while encountering problems from their work or their lives. Before bed, again it is the time for prayer and

                        meditation in order to free their mind from stress and all the problems they have faced during the day. When they go to bed, they will have a sound and peaceful

                        sleep. All laypeople should know their life goal is that they were born to achieve nirvana, so that they can balance their material and spiritual activities.

                        These are daily activities for general laypeople. In addition, every fortnight on the full-moon day, committed Buddhists will visit the temples and listen

                        to a sermon, meditate, and make merits. Also, on special days in Buddhism such as Visakha Puja Day, Asarnha Puja Day, Buddhist Lent Day, the end of Buddhist Lent Day, and every Buddhist observance day, they will join Buddhist ceremonies at the temple and observe eight precepts.

Monica :          I just wonder, the perception of Thais must be so different inside here. Can you describe an ordinary day for a Buddhist monk?

Luang Por :     People who decide to be Buddhist monks undoubtedly want to liberate themselves from sufferings, and attain Nirvana like the Lord Buddha

                        who terminated birth. Therefore, all days and nights, Buddhist monks practice the duties of monkhood to completely eradicate their spiritual defects. Early in the morning, Buddhist monks pray and meditate. Then, they leave the temples to go on alms rounds. After that, they clean their place and study the Lord Buddha’s

                        teachings both by reading the scripture and practicing meditation. In the evening, they also clean the place, say a prayer, and perform meditation to clear their

                        mind with the goal to eradicate defilements. Every fortnight on the full-moon day, Buddhist monks give sermons to teach the people coming to the temples.

Monica :          How much time do you spend meditating every day?

Luang Por :     I meditate twice a day--when I close and open my eyes; when I inhale and exhale. In every manner even sitting, standing, lying, walking or doing

                        anything, I can keep meditating naturally and automatically because I have practiced it this way since I got ordained. I can focus my mind on my inner

                        peace despite my outward movement. It is like the road that lays still even when there are cars running on it, or the sky that is fixed in its place even when clouds

                        are floating by. It became my habit to meditate by focusing my mind at the center of my body, all the time in every activity.

Monica :          Yes ok. How does this meditating affect the rest of your day?

Luang Por :     The benefits of twenty-four hour meditation are that it makes me happy and joyful. It gives me awareness and wisdom which enable me to extinguish my own sufferings. Consequently, I am willing to help other people every day.

                        I use the knowledge from meditation to help people by teaching them about the causes and effects of their deeds which is called “the law of karma”. I spread this knowledge, via the DMC channel, to help people around the world find true

                        happiness. I do all these things out of happiness, goodness of the heart, with full-conscience and wisdom.

Monica :          If you don’t meditate, is there any difference?

Luang Por :     People who do not meditate lack strength of the mind. Their mind will be exposed to confusion, sadness, boredom, stress, hollowness, anxiety and many

                        troubles because there is nothing to empower or protect their minds from everyday life’s problems.

Buddha knows : Death & Afterlife

Buddha knows - An interview with Abbot Dhammajayo on Buddhism 

by Monica Øien

“Death is like a process of transformation from physical bodies to spiritual ones. The Lord also taught that death is a source of human sufferings

Monica :          What do Buddhist scriptures say about death?

Luang Por :     The Lord Buddha said death is simple and ordinary for everybody. All people,  no matter who they are, the rich or the poor, are subject to death. Death is a part of our lives. As long as there is birth, death will certainly come. Even while we are still living, death still takes place in the form of cells in our bodies. Everyday,

there are cells produced and eliminated. This process of birth and death in cells is  not quite as explicit as the death of the person, which can be easily seen. With the Lord Buddha’s teachings, Buddhists are familiar with the subject of death, viewing it as natural. Death is like a process of transformation from physical

bodies to spiritual ones. The Lord Buddha also taught that death is a source of  human sufferings. It causes separation from people and the things we love. When

we die, we are forced to depart from them although they are our beloved persons,   pets and properties. Thus, death is known as suffering. For those who are alive, they also experience grief as their loved ones are taken away. To stop this cycle

of suffering, the Lord Buddha thought there should be no death. Eventually, he  found the way to stop death—to cease birth and there will be no death.

Monica :          How do Buddhists relate to death? Are they afraid of it, and if not, why?

Luang Por :     Deep down everybody certainly fears death, but true Buddhists will be less  scared
as they know the fact that whether they fear it or not, death is inevitable.

They thus prepare themselves for death and study what they should do in order
to  have a good afterlife.

Monica :          Do you prepare yourself for death? How do you do that?

Luang Por :     Buddhists have been taught that death is a binary opposition of birth. To prepare  ourselves for the impending death on a normal level, we must learn to purify our minds, avoid unwholesome acts, do good deeds, be helpful and generous to other people, and accumulate merits. Also, one should acknowledge the purpose of being born a human so as to cease birth and find the celestial realm as a halfway before reaching the goal of nirvana. And for those who can attain a higher level of Dhamma, their minds will be free from any emotional breakdown including the fear of death. More particularly, for the person who can reach higher levels of meditation and gain the proper peace of mind, death or life will be no different to them because they know the nature of death before experiencing the real death.

Monica :          What do Buddhists expect in the afterlife?

Luang Por :     A Buddhist who clearly comprehends the truth of life would expect no  reincarnation in the next life like the Lord Buddha, or at least, expect to be in the celestial realm, and not some unwholesome realm. However, the celestial realm is not the ultimate goal as it is only a temporary asylum. When our time in the celestial world ends, we have to be reborn. In our reincarnation in the human world, we aim to eradicate all defilements which are the seeds of birth.

Monica :          What do they expect will happen when they are dead?

Luang Por :     A true Buddhist will seek to end the cycle of  rebirth by following the Lord  Buddha’s teachings, but the reckless Buddhists may live their lives aimlessly, similar to followers of many other religions. However, most of them would expect to be reborn in the celestial realm, not in the realm of punishment.

Buddha knows : Buddhist View on Sex

Buddha knows - An interview with Abbot Dhammajayo on Buddhism
by Monica Øien

“Premarital sex is considered the result of a person’s weak and unhealthy mind”

Monica :          What do Buddhist scriptures say about sexual life for the Buddhists?

Luang Por :     Buddhism suggests that intercourse should be treated as a commitment rather  than an entertainment. This means that a couple should have intercourse only when they wish to have offspring who will reincarnate to this world for the pursuit of perfections.
This makes a human birth different from the birth of animals such as cats or birds which are driven by lust and instinct only. Moreover, this kind of relationship is regarded as a means to enhance a person’s roles and status. It makes husbands and wives become parents who are the first teachers, the selfless givers, and the spiritual guide for their children. Parents have to perform the duty of a good virtue-mentor by presenting the gateway leading to heaven or nirvana. They are comparable to the noble ones of the family. Thus, all couples should realize this issue and never be obsessed
by sexual intercourse. They should contemplate that intercourse offers only  temporary pleasure which also has negative effects. Therefore, intercourse should be valued and engaged in with the awareness that overindulgence could lead to suffering as well.

Monica :          Is it, according to the Buddhist Laws, acceptable to have sexual relationships  

                        before marriage?

Luang Por :     There is no direct teaching about premarital sex. However, the Lord Buddha  taught that a sexual relationship should take place only when a couple is ready to be husband and wife who are responsible for offspring in order to continue their clan. Premarital sex is considered the result of a person’s weak and unhealthy mind. It can be compared with an unripe fruit that is taken before its time. There is no exact teaching or restriction about premarital sex, but most Buddhists regard it as a disgrace and a violation of Buddhist tradition. As a matter of fact, this kind of relationship will cause many problems. The people who have sex before marriage will devalue the meaning of both a sexual relationship and marriage. They will prefer sexual pleasure to a meaningful relationship with someone. The heart will lose its innocence as it is filled with passion and lust. Also, abortion is one of a series of problems caused by premarital sex. Expressing love between husbands and wives is a normal activity unless we transgress any restrictions, social values or morality. Sexual pleasure is viewed as temporary satisfaction that brings about some disadvantages if we do not know how to control ourselves. Sometimes jealousy, lust, anxiety and conflict are the result. Buddhism teaches people to treat it as a meaningful relationship that will have a positive effect on a complete family life. Sexual activity thus connotes the sense of sacredness, not promiscuity.

Monica :          Celibacy is a norm in temples all over the world. I wonder why monks, Buddhist  monks, have to live in celibacy.

Luang Por :     One thing you have to bear in mind is that before leading a life in priesthood,
all  Buddhist monks were once ordinary laypeople. But they consider the lives of

laypeople full of burdens and responsibilities which prevent them from gaining  insights about the truth of life and Dhamma. Laypeople busy their lives with earning money, family matters and daily problems. To avoid all these life fetters,
one needs to get ordained which will help them achieve the goal of enlightenment. Sensual pleasure is considered temporary happiness which lasts for a short period.
This kind of pleasure is compared with having a meal. Our hunger will be relieved
for a short while and we have to satisfy our needs again in the next meal.
Buddhist monks consider happiness from meditation to exceed worldly happiness.
Meditation generates true happiness which cannot be found elsewhere.
For the sake of this true happiness,
monks choose to turn their back on worldly pleasures and practice celibacy.
Prince Siddharta is an example of a person who deserted all blessing in his life in order to seek the happiness of the mind. Buddhist monks follow His path in search of true happiness as well because they believe that celibacy is a means to liberate themselves from suffering and become enlightened like the Lord Buddha.

Buddha knows : Buddhist Congregation

Buddha knows - An interview with Abbot Dhammajayo on Buddhism
by Monica Øien

“Meditation thus is the easiest and the most effective way that directly solves any problems”

Monica :          What does it mean to a Buddhist to practice meditation in a ceremony like the  Kathina Ceremony yesterday? Does it enrich the Buddhist life to meditate together with others, or can they do it just as well at home alone or somewhere else?

Luang Por :     The reason for mass congregation is unity in meditation practice. Normally the  laypeople will meditate individually at home from Monday to Saturday.
So, on Sunday, it is a good chance for everyone to get together to meditate and generate

strong positive mental energy to cleanse the impurities away from this world.
The tradition of communal meritorious activity has been practiced since the Lord

Buddha’s time. People may meditate privately or as a group.
The mass  congregation will motivate the others to follow this good deed as well because the unity of people doing good deeds together is admirable. The moment that  people join together to meditate is the moment of peace that can prosper to

become world-peace. The world has experienced spiritual drought for a long  time,
and the peaceful congregation will bring about change. The peace that

everyone has longed for will become a reality. All problems in this world arise  from the wicked mind. As the mind is the cause, to solve the problems,
we have to deal with our mind first. War is a result of evil thoughts and furious  minds, while peace occurs from a calm and clear mind. Meditation thus is the easiest and the most effective way to solve any problems. Although people have been longing for peace, no one has ever imagined it can really take place nowadays.
However, meditation will bring about this impossible thing.
If everyone meditates together, the world can be changed easily as both wars and

                        peace are the result of our mind’s actions.

Buddha knows : Monastic v.s Secular Life

Buddha knows - An interview with Abbot Dhammajayo on Buddhism 

by Monica Øien

“Prince Siddharta, as an example, rejected his excess royal wealth
because he foresaw that they provided limited happiness whereas sufferings still existed”

Monica :          Good, thank you. What do the monks think about family life?
And do you  consider family life to be a distraction from your faith?

Luang Por :     Family life is restricted by many factors, similar to a fish swimming in a tank  compared to a fish swimming in the ocean. While one is constrained in a specific

area, the other enjoys the boundless space of the sea. In other words,
we may also compare a married couple to caged birds who are not allowed to fly

freely in the sky. So marriage is a binding of life, and family life is not easy.
There are several things to worry about, and this would obstruct the path towards

Arahantship, the highest attainment for laypeople in Buddhism. If we wish to  attain nirvana, monkhood is the only status that takes you there. For laypeople,

they can attain enlightenment up to a certain level, but not the highest level.
Look at Prince Siddharta who was blessed with a beautiful wife and an adorable baby boy. He had never found the utmost satisfaction in life although he had abundant wealth, dignity, power, and servants. Finally, he renounced the world and sought to ordain since he realized that a family life does not encourage the Dhamma attainment. Is that clear to you?

Monica :          It seems as if we in the west only find happiness when we buy a new car or a big  house, and have a lot of material things around us. I think that you have good

                        inspired thinking, so I wonder, what gives a Buddhist life value?

Luang Por :     What matters most to Buddhists is Dhamma attainment, because happiness  obtained from external sources such as family, dignity, power, and fortune are

still limited. They coexist with life’s obligations. But happiness and joy from  Dhamma attainment is boundless and superior to a household life. Then the

value of life can be achieved through the attainment of Dhamma that exists  within oneself. Having said that, I would also like to emphasize a basic need for material wealth to a certain degree, but it will never buy true happiness and the highest satisfaction in life for us. Prince Siddharta, as an example, rejected his excess royal wealth because he foresaw that they provided limited happiness whereas sufferings still existed. His solution was to ordain and seek enlightenment which yielded the highest satisfaction for himself. Those who possess great wealth but never feel satisfied with their lives are still unsuccessful. But the Dhamma attainment will lead us to the highest satisfaction. We will desire for nothing more. We will be able to rely on ourselves and be independent from all external factors.

Monica :          What about the tradition of going to the temple? Is it the norm that you have to  go to the temple regularly as a Buddhist? Is it acceptable to go just once in a while, or must you go every Sunday? I am talking about normal Buddhists, not monks.

Luang Por :     Devout Buddhists usually go to the temple to make merits. However, like in  other religions, non-strict Buddhists do not care to keep this trait. They do

                        not make themselves a frequent visitor to temples.

Monica :          Do the scriptures teach about organizing the temple, and the fellowship among  other Buddhists?

Luang Por :     There is a teaching that Buddhists should visit temples regularly in order to learn
from the wise, the sages, and especially the Buddhist monks, who prolong

the Lord Buddha’s teachings. This allows the new generation to understand
the  truth of life and to follow the path accordingly, so they can live their lives

righteously towards the ultimate goal of humankind by correcting their view  first.
The Lord Buddha never forced anyone to become a Buddhist or to visit the

temples, he just pointed out the many benefits of doing so. This raises the  awareness that one should take the best care of oneself in both private and public aspects by doing only good deeds. Did I make it clear to you?

Simply speaking, Buddhists do not force anyone to visit temples but they help to  provide a better understanding of Buddhism, until one is willing to come.
For example, one is given guidance on how to have the right livelihood which would secure for oneself a rebirth only in the wholesome realms.

Buddha knows : Rebir th & Incarnation

Buddha knows - An interview with Abbot Dhammajayo on Buddhism 

by Monica Øien

“Our birth is not directed by anyone, 

but it is the matter of karma or retribution for our past deeds”

Monica :          Thank you. Ok, what does it mean for a Buddhist to give birth to a child?

Luang Por :     Buddhism regards a birth not only as a natural process. We consider that everyone is reborn because of the cycle of life and death. As long as the driving force remains, 

                        one continues to be reborn in order to learn the truth of life that would lead to the final stage, or the end of birth. The more often we are born,
the more suffering we encounter. Birth is the origin of many other kinds of suffering  such as aging, sickness, death, separation from loved objects, facing unpleasant

things and torment from unfulfilled desire. Consequently, a human birth is not  only natural, but also has the purpose of seeking to cease birth itself. This Buddhist view
is neither pessimistic nor optimistic, but rather realistic. The reality is that suffering coexists with birth. Our birth is not directed by anyone, but it is the matter of karma
or retribution for our past deeds. Physically, birth starts from a father and a mother who have a sexual relationship, or in Dhamma terms, physical intercourse where the refined body is given an opportunity to incarnate.

Monica :          Can you tell me if the Buddhists have any birth rituals, and why you do or
do not  have them?

Luang Por :     Traditional Buddhists have no rites associated directly or indirectly to birth
because we are taught not to force the newborn child to become a new Buddhist.

However, everyone is subject to learning the ‘knowhow’ in order to achieve  one’s goal of ending rebirth. Some families believe that inviting monks for food

offerings on a family member’s birthday will make the day auspicious,
and will earn them merit. Sometimes they may request the monks to name their child.

Ultimately, the principle is that the parents have to raise their children with care.
They are also obliged to educate their children on how to be a good person in

                        society and achieve the goal of ending rebirth.

Monica :          Is it an issue what the child was in his former life? Does it any matter to the  parents
if they come from terrible background in a former life?

Luang Por :     Actually, it’s hard for parents to know about the past lives of their child.
They  never know where the child was from. What they do know is that they have

to care for their child with love and warmth, as well as teaching the child  according
to the Dhamma. However, if they find out later on that their child

was from an unwholesome realm such as the realm of animals,
they should  simply accept the truth. Although they might feel unfortunate,
it is a good opportunity for them to guide their child for improvement in the present
and the  future.

Monica :          Do Buddhist parents expect their children to come from a good past life?

Luang Por :     Buddhist parents are similar to all other parents. They expect their child to have
come from a good realm.

Monica :          What does the Buddhist scripture teach parents about how they should raise
or  have children?

Luang Por :     The Lord Buddha taught that parents should feed them not only with food,
but  they should also teach their child to abstain from misdeeds such as killing,
stealing, sexual misconduct, false speech, consumption of alcohol and narcotics,
and involvement in any other unwholesome allurements. These are the first steps.
For the next step, they have to teach their child to do only good deeds including practicing generosity, observing precepts, and meditating. Thirdly, parents should support their child’s education to the highest level. The fourth step is that parents should advise their child on how to choose a promising spouse. Significantly,
due to their long experience in married life, the parents should help their sons and daughters to find a consort who is relevant to them in four aspects: faith, precepts, attitude, and belief, so they can live together harmoniously. Lastly, provide the children with property in a timely manner so as to be invested in the future.
The parents should also suggest how to earn, spend and save money.

Monica :          In my travels I have seen different birth traditions around the world,
in different  religions. I just wonder, are there any spiritual differences in having
a boy or a  girl for Buddhist parents?

Luang Por :     What do you mean by “spiritual differences”?

Monica :          Spiritual, well…I don’t know if that’s the proper word. But I was thinking about  whether they have different responsibilities, or if one sex is more important than

the other, because a lot of other religions think that. I just wondered if it’s  something that’s considered in Buddhism as well.

Luang Por :     In Buddhism, we do not worry about the child’s gender since it has nothing to do  
                       with the parents’ spiritual progress and prosperity. Indeed, it depends on whether 
                        the parents follow the teachings of the Lord Buddha. Parents will be happy

if their children show gratitude towards them as a result of their teaching, 
and if  their children are capable, well-behaved, and successful in their career

and education. The Lord Buddha also taught that children should make merit and dedicate to their parents who have already passed away.

if their children show gratitude towards them as aresult of their teaching,
and if their children arecapable, well-behaved, and successful in their careerand education. The Lord Buddha also taught thatchildren should make merit and 

dedicate to theirparents who have already passed away.